we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
