got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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