Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
