Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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