im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
