apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
