that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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