Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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  (803): im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk http://tfl.nu/jksc
  Replies (39) Good night (4093) Bad night (907)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

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  (269): We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it. http://tfl.nu/t2uq
  Replies (9) Good night (3754) Bad night (618)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.

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  (601): She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine. http://tfl.nu/p4hk
  Replies (21) Good night (537) Bad night (3489)
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  (626): View more from California

  They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes

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  (626): They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/n6ba
  Replies (9) Good night (4160) Bad night (986)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk

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  (617): it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk http://tfl.nu/xjgo
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (2487)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.

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  (865): Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing. http://tfl.nu/w2oe
  Replies (2) Good night (2117) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.

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  (805): I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation. http://tfl.nu/mgar
  Replies (10) Good night (822) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (1945)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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  (914): She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable? http://tfl.nu/73t2
  Replies (4) Good night (2598) Bad night (592)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you

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  (423): You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you http://tfl.nu/8tmy
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed

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  (402): If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/sm0v
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (329)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again

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  (503): i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again http://tfl.nu/nar2
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (360)
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  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (323) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me

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  (607): Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me http://tfl.nu/qp3z
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless

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  (330): dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/pgmn
  Replies (7) Good night (345) Bad night (290)

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