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I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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