remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
