I skipped work to stalk him.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."