at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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