Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no, it is just poor

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  (248): windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam (630): no, it is just poor http://tfl.nu/96gb
  Replies (75) Good night (819) Bad night (2594)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...

  (443): View more from Maryland

  that's spring break in florida for ya

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  (301): seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything... (443): that's spring break in florida for ya http://tfl.nu/f4zu
  Replies (10) Good night (2200) Bad night (2382)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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  (617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf
  Replies (14) Good night (6204) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8419) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours

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  (480): I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours http://tfl.nu/lbg0
  Replies (17) Good night (1045) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.

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  (425): I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely. http://tfl.nu/v43n
  Replies (4) Good night (2876) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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  (650): at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running http://tfl.nu/xnze
  Replies (5) Good night (791) Bad night (2295)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...

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  (715): I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life... http://tfl.nu/7li7
  Replies (6) Good night (1398) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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  (250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1
  Replies (2) Good night (1840) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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  (847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d
  Replies (14) Good night (1788) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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  (716): Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it! http://tfl.nu/wiz3
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around

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  (818): I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around http://tfl.nu/btrv
  Replies (4) Good night (474) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming

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  (615): Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming http://tfl.nu/odmb
  Replies (4) Good night (1261) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  On my way

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  (317): it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone. (1-317): On my way http://tfl.nu/kjt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1076) Bad night (254)

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