You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
vagina is talking i cant
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.