Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.