is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.