New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?