Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
