I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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