I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize