Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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