I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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