tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
