you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
