we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
