I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
