R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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