he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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