Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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