Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
