There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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