Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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