Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
