Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
