I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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