8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize