Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
