so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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