I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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