Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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