she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
