This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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