I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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