My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
