I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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