everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
