My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
