Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
