The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
