8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
