week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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