plz talk dirty to me
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Randomize