you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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