Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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