love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
