Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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