You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
