The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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