u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I cockslap morals
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
