Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Couch. On fire.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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