think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
