I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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