So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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