Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
