i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
