Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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